Are men really that stupid?

This is a question to the universe. How does simply saying that a product is manly or masculine magically make it so? You know, those ads that make arbitrary claims that an obviously gender-neutral product is “for men” or that it somehow makes the user more masculine. Like the ad for that new Dr. Pepper rip of Coke Zero (I forget what it’s called, but the ads are all, ‘Grr, dudes and explosions!’) — so, come on, men. I want to know:

Is there any reason why one can full of water and high fructose corn syrup is more manly than any other can of carbonated sugar sludge?

Do women decide whether or not to have sex with you based on the brand of shampoo that you use?

If I put a black and silver label on a product that your girlfriend uses, does that make it a different product?

Will your testosterone levels increase if you eat a compressed stick of monkey meat, preservatives and concentrated sodium instead of a plate of chopped vegetables?

See, I know that intellectually, most men would say, no, what a fucking ridiculous set of propositions. Yet I also know when an ad says basically the same thing, a lot of the time, it actually works. I don’t understand why it’s so easy to alter public perception with transparent messages that defy basic logic.

Last week, we sold a spot on a particularly difficult brief. I can’t go into detail, obviously, but I’ll say that a lot of careful thought went into figuring out how to present what the client wanted to say in a way that was factual, entertaining, true to the brand, relevant to the target market and didn’t feel “too addy.” So who knows, maybe I’m just jealous of people who only have to think of ways to say “Attention dudes with dirty hipster beards: chicks will have sex with you if you buy our product.”